The Endowment Effect

I am sure many of you have come across this term somewhere, probably in the books on economics… but here’s a twist:

” Did you know this effect is “everywhere” & and it impacts us on a daily basis?”

I realized this while I was preparing for a project and came across this article a very common experience we all encounter in our lives. How often do we go shopping? And how often we buy stuff “we didn’t intend to buy then”? How many times we end up buying stuff that we know it’s overly priced YET end up buying? Sound familiar? Let me explain why and how we end up getting trapped through a simple example. It’s a nasty trick we play on ourselves. What happens when we visit a clothing store for example and get attracted to an expensive piece of clothing? In spite of the high price tag, we end up visiting the fitting room to try it on. Right? We check out ourselves in the mirror from every angle and start projecting thoughts of how we will look in a business meeting or how it will look while going on a date? What people will say? Etc. And very soon the price tag begins to get justified and we find ourselves day dreaming with a smile. This smile is proof that our brain has been hijacked!!   By … the ENDOWMENT EFFECT !

The term “Endowment effect” was coined by economist Richard Thaler and later propagated by the Nobel Prize winning Psychologist and economist Daniel Kannehan. It means that people place a higher value on objects they perceive they own than objects they do not. It is somewhat linked to loss aversion theory which means that that people experience the hurt of losing something much more than the gain of acquiring it. The Endowment effect stipulates that after people own something and after they have established or imagined a “property right” to the object then that something dramatically increases in subjective value.

This is what happens to us in the fitting rooms!  By putting on that piece of clothing we at that point endowed ourselves with the item and the thought of putting it back on the shelves gives a sense of “loosing” something which we don’t even own and suddenly we come out of the fitting room with a decision !  The decision to purchase!

Viola! “Endowment effect” in action!   Lesson?  “Do not enter the fitting room if you do not need it”.

We can see this endowment effect in action in many spheres of our lives. For example, real estate prices are often subject to this effect, with the sellers asking a price which exceeds consumer willingness to pay. On a smaller level, you can probably see it if you look around your house and think about the value of the items you own. For example, how much do you think the chair that you are sitting on is worth?

How often have you heard the phrase  “this has sentimental value”  applied to an object?  This cognitive bias is also known as Divestiture Aversion (Endowment effect), referencing the idea that because people become attached to objects they own, they often develop an aversion to selling them or passing them on. One extreme example of this bias is what leads many of us to develop habit of hoarding resulting in filled to brim basements which objects we once owned but can’t let go.

Some of the extremely high starting bids on eBay auctions is another example of endowment effect in action.

This endowment effect underlies and is interspersed across the entire sales and marketing principles. Sales people are trained to “avoid the endowment effect” especially during negotiation. The lesson they are taught are “you don’t own the customer”! Thus alerting to the trap.

Price trend / price elasticity are commonly used terms in marketing which also flirt with the principle of endowment effect. The “status” brands like Channel, Louis Vuitton, Prada etc. all use endowment effect to great extent.

The one contribution that endowment effect has made to the world of economics has been a reworking of the understanding of the relationship between willingness to pay for items, and willingness to accept compensation for such items. As a general rule, people are willing to pay less for items they don’t own, and they expect more compensation to sell the items they do own & here is another twist –  that  “this contradicts traditional economic theory“. Go figure!

The impact of The Endowment effect to our daily lives is so great that it seems almost every aspect of our daily existence is influenced by it in one way or another, I wonder about instances where endowment effect is in action in the realm of personal relationships? If endowment effect is all about “perception of value” applied to an inanimate object, can this “perception” be applied to what we value the most in our lives – RELATIONSHIPS?

Doesn’t the endowment effect reflect the “it is mine” thought process?  If so then, isn’t the “mine concept” the crux of all relationships? My Family, My GF/BF, My Wife, My Children, My Friend … etc. etc.  Isn’t it that we place tremendous value on all “My” relationships and not so much “not my” relationships?  If so then is this “the endowment effect” in action?

We commonly hear phrases especially in a love/hate relationships like “he is so possessive… “, “She is obsessed with him..” etc. . Are such feelings of possessiveness or obsession result of “the endowment effect”?   If so, does this affect us in such a way that we end up treating our loved ones as “objects”?  Hence such feelings?

Are relationships susceptible to the “the claim of ownership”?

The results of this effect can sometimes be quite interesting, and being aware of it can be very important whether you are buying or selling something or in a relationship.

As I continue to ponder & before the endowment effect hijacks my brain, I leave you with another mega twist question-

“Is Marriage, the ultimate expression of commitment spawned by “THE ENDOWMENT EFFECT”??

I hope you liked this twist,  please feel free to add your twists , post comments / share your thoughts… 🙂

The Dichotomy of FreeConomics

 What if I told you , Nothing is free. 

 The only thing really Free are the Natural resources! Rest of everything “labelled” FREE is.. paid by you! 

 Welcome to the world of FreeConomics !

The word “Free” is considered to be one of the most powerful words in the world of advertising today. Psychologists say that 93% of the people would fall for this word and would be “compelled” to perform action linked to that word ! No matter what it is.

So much is the power of this single word that a “whole economy”  is shaping around this word. or in other words, its changing the way commerce is done today. It’s all about how cleverly an advertiser harnesses the power of this word.  Let me give some examples from the many we encounter everyday:

 

1. Buy two and get third FREE ! (now you will end up with three of the same things though you needed just one to begin with the Free word made you spend MORE). And we wonder “how come space in our homes is never enough?” 

2. Free gift with every purchase. Best way to increase sales of a product/ service. We don’t even know what gift is inside. Yet people purchase.

3. Pizza companies are one of the best examples of the use of word FREE in advertising.

4. Mother of all “freebies”.. FREE TRIAL!!  Okay, but not without filling out a “simple” information  form! (there goes your personal data to a service provider Watch out for your Inbox!)

 5. Social Media is FREE.  Everyone is ON it. But is it REALLY free ?

 

History of this “twist” in advertising is not very old. However its use is on the rise. Every product/ service provider seems to be using it now. Consumers have come to expect something SHOULD come free with their purchase. However small, yet they will claim that FREE prize. & feel accomplished ! 

Think about it. Let me prove it to you by using the example of this FREE blogging site – Blogger itself !  its Free! right? but did we not fill out a form and made a profile?So for opening a FREE blogger account , I had to give up my information! 

 

The Twist: By volunteering this information,  I PAID FOR THE FREE SERVICE ! 

 In order to get something FREE , we have to give up something in return!

An exchange has to take place. 

 

Another example is Social media platforms. It’s not free ! Facebook , Twitter etc are not free! 

We PAY for it with our “privacy”. As soon as you give up your privacy through volunteering the information & personal details , your PAYMENT is done ! Oh…they do provide this valuable feature called “privacy setting”. But hang on a sec ! there is ….

The Twist: Do those settings allow you to keep your information “private” from the service provider to whose FREE service you have subscribed to? 

Recently, Facebook created a buzz in Economic markets by announcing the take over of Whatsapp application for 13 bn Dollars !!! A Free service buying another Free service !! Where did this money come from? you would be right, if you said , through advertising and sponsors etc. But you would be WRONG if you said, I didn’t pay anything to either of the service provider! 

 The Twist : You PAID with your TIME !

 It’s this invisible yet extremely valuable currency we PAY for free service. Advertisers are “purchasing” YOUR TIME  to bombard you  with “advertising messages” every TIME you use this FREE service ! Of course there is an option if you don’t want to allow this “invasion of privacy” & “abuse of currency called Time” & here comes …

 

The Twist : You have to PAY for this “Upgrade” of service. It’s NOT FREE ! 

 

The other day my friend ordered pizza for our family from Pizza Hut. Upon delivery, we got ONE MORE FREE extra pizza. We inquired and were told that because our staff did not cut the pizza in the “shape”we requested, one extra pizza is on the house ! And i could see the expression of “achievement” on my friends face, but  it hit me! While she was delivering the awesome smelling pizzas to the dinner table, I was thinking about numbers – CHOLESTEROL numbers ! Now we will consume that Extra Pizza (Mind you, it was a Cheese loaded pizza) with satisfaction and even thank Pizza Hut for “awesome”service blah blah.

 

The Twist : What did I PAY for this FREE pizza ? 

Which one of the three options is the best answer?

a) Probably will order AGAIN from Pizza Hut in the (VERY) near future & hope they screw up again and get a FREE pizza.= More business for Pizza Hut. 

b) Probably with mine & my families HEALTH (with all that extra cheese). By this over consumption, I put myself and my family at increased risk of heart disease etc. 

c) ALL of the above ! 

So much of commerce takes place just by the use of word “FREE”. The VALUE of this twist (word Free) is literally fueling the growth of the economy& consumerism that to an extent it is actually helping the country to come of recession.

I am reminded of a very popular marketing book published in 1999 by Seth Godin – “Permission Marketing : Turning strangers to friends & friends to customers“. Read the underlined words again & think how vital the word “Free” is in the “commerce of consumerism”.

I hope you enjoyed your “Free” ride  in the world of “FREE-CONOMICS: A Economy with a twist” & thank you for your payment ! 🙂 

Finally, as a token of my appreciation for reading this blog, I leave you with…..

THE  FINAL  TWIST 

  It  is actually  POSSIBLE  to  live  entirely  WITHOUT  MONEY ! 

There is official movement called FREECONOMY began by a Bristol,UK resident Mark Boyle. He, in association with a not-for-profit organisation (Street Bank) has membership of over 3000 (as of 2008) in 54 countries !

 Click on the link below to believe this possibility! 

http://www.streetbank.com/just_for_the_love_of_it

I look forward to your comments & thoughts. 

Signal Mantra

Have you ever smiled looking at the traffic signal light ?  Weird question?   NOT REALLY !  Read on  🙂 

On a pleasant breezy Tuesday evening in Mumbai  , I decided to treat my recently  joined  office colleague with a unique name -Ojhal (which means disappear)to my favorite haunt – COSTA COFFEE shop. We arrive at a busy intersection and were waiting for the traffic signal of our lane to turn green.  We happen to witness a bike accident which changed the way we look at the traffic signal and in turn life itself .

Both the drivers involved in the accident had one thing in common – both had  jumped the signal . The biker decided to take a risk of trying to beat the orange light , while the car driver could not be patient enough  for signal to turn Green.

As expected we began discussing the chain of events while waiting for our coffee.. and Ojhal commented , if both the drivers had not jumped the respective signals , the accident wouldn’t have happened.  This comment triggered me to look within (which I had not done for a long time) that how often we ignore the subtle warnings of life . Not only that  we actually CHOOSE to ignore these messages without realizing that we are  full steam ahead towards impending disaster. (Just as the biker chose to ignore the message of orange light). Similarly instead of tiding over the trouble with patience and perseverance we tend to struggle the most and in the desperate search to find the exit to the problem , we become impatient and commit an act that augments our suffering ! (Like the car driver).Then one day we turn a corner and BOOM ! life pops up a pleasant surprise suddenly drenching us with a wave of happiness. Everything in life seems that little bit more brighter , our smiles little bit more bigger and we cease to experience the suffering. Now here is the “Ripley’s believe it or not “ fact – instead of enjoying the experience of happiness , the greedy beings that we are , we try to prolong  the experience and soon begin to experiment without realizing we are flirting with disaster.  Thus we come full circle and the cycle continues relentlessly – life sends a warning – we ignore –  disaster – happiness – experimenting ……  I tell you , we humans are simple yet  ‘love to be complicated‘  creatures .

Our Coffees arrive and the aroma of the freshly ground costa rican coffee bean emanating from the cup , edges me on to introspect further. I began to see a pattern in the way life functions which is amazingly similar to the traffic signal . The warnings (like the orange light) comes for very short duration. Probably this is why we fail to notice. While either of the two extremes – be it pain suffering (Red light)or Happiness(Green light) lasts pretty much equally reflecting the balancing character of Mother Nature. And just as Green Light always follows the Red light , Good times always follow the bad times ! (NEVER vice-versa)

This is probably how life manages the traffic of our experiences .. just like the traffic signal !

I have begun to call this interpretation as  – the “S I G N A L”  Mantra

If we just heed to “the Orange messages” of Life and be a little more patient during ”the  Red times”  we will surely limit the extent of the suffering and enjoy more of “the Green Times” !

Now everytime I see the traffic signal , I SMILE !  and ………so will you !  🙂

Hope you liked this read …please do leave a comment or thoughts.

To BE or Not to BE

As I returned from a short period of hibernation from blogging ,  I was  pleasantly surprised to see a comment from a long  lost  friend on one of my blogs . The comment was pretty straight forward and simple – ” soul mate / sole mate” . At first read I almost mis-interpreted the simplicity of the comment . Soon i realised the depth of it and revised my thoughts.  It is interesting revelation that the journey of the soul is a Lonely one until it finds its twin aspect – the soul mate who is most definitely a sole mate . Hence the comment – soul mate / sole mate 🙂

Upon entry into the physical realm , the soul relinquishes its remembrance of itself.  It intentionally forgets that it was a divine part of the divine whole  -a member of the body.   Thus the foundation of the Trinity is laid through which it CREATES  the experience for itself  and it embarks upon  the journey which we refer to as LIFE  with the sole purpose of RE-Membering into the divine ONE. This is the Soul purpose.

With this forgetfulness of the soul , came the existence of choice .  Life as we know it has never offered multiple choices . Mother nature has intentionally kept  life simple – as in Yes / No.  Every moment poses this sole question – “Do you wish to experience this right NOW ?”  The answer to this can be only yes or no.  Add these string of such ‘now’ moments and we will realise that the life we are living has been and will be a result of a yes / no choice.  The more revealing question would be –  TO BE or NOT TO BE? .  The choice will decide upon our state of  BE-ingness or the NOT BE-ingness.

Just as every journey has a destination, So does this journey of the soul. Here too there is a choice – Death or Salvation. Death results in recycling of the soul for another journey while Salvation – will result in Unison into Divine ! (the Ultimate destination of ALL souls / the soul’s sole purpose).In other words- Mortality or Immortality. As our soul guides us unobtrusively through the  journey of  life with a sole purpose of unification  into divine – it continuously brings us to answer the sole question – To BE or Not To BE ! leading us to our destination of CHOICE.

Isn’t it an  amazing revelation that we beings have the power  to proclaim our destiny (destination) through a simple choice of …. To BE or Not to BE ! ?

Please feel free to share your thoughts and post comments .

Great Expectations

A good friend of mine suddenly appears at my doorstep apparently distressed. It was around 11 pm and I was as usual busy with my office work preparing for the next day with TV running in the background. The sudden unexpected intrusion took me by surprise and resulted in delayed welcome. As she settles in the sofa of my living room with a coffee (a fellow coffee addict), I found her staring into the cup probably at her reflection dancing on the surface occasionally marred by vapors emanating from the cup . The aroma carried by these vapors was mesmerizing. However, I was pulled out of the trance soon enough by a soft sobbing sound as I realize soon enough that she was crying and all her efforts to restrain herself was pretty much in vain. With growing concern , I begin to investigate the matter which made her cry like a baby.

 As I was ‘ listening ‘(for a change), I realized this is the result of her unfulfilled and probably misplaced ‘ expectations ‘ from her BF & vice versa!

On introspection – What is it about relationships that make them so vulnerable? Why does human being (a evolutionary social animal) struggle at being “social”?

 Human beings are inherently conditional in nature as they are nurtured in a conditional environment since birth. Beginning with our parents who instill the very basics of socially acceptable behavior ‘laced with conditions’. For example, a mother to a naughty child says – “son , if you behave properly, I will give you a chocolate” ! The innocent gullible child has no idea that the seed has been planted in his subconscious which will reflect in his social behavior at a later stage. How does this conditional behavior manifest in us ? The one world answer to this is – EXPECTATION. This conditional upbringing leads us to have expectations from other people. The mother gives the child his first lesson on “having expectations” by offering a reward to a ‘expected’ behaviour. Hence begins a journey of interactions and socializing with fellow people. Each sub-consciously expecting something in return from the other. This ultimately begins to form the basis of all relationships. Be it a Mother – child relationship , husband – wife , BF- GF ( as the case is here ) , Boss-employee ,  Even the relationship between  a saint – GOD is based on expectation. The Saint expects enlightenment / Nirvana through penance. Come to think of it , even our scriptures preach (rather demands) and ‘expects’ conditional behavior to achieve salvation. The Ultimate Promise of Salvation being a “ultimate expectation”. The seed of expectations is so deeply ingrained into us beings to the extent that we are told – GOD has expectations too & expects us to do this and that (I will not walk further on this overly sensitive subject) .

 So my next question is – when we all are so well trained from birth and over the years nurtured into learning to expect , why do we often suffer from bad relationships ? What is the secret to having a happy and long standing relationship?

 Strange as it may sound , here I believe Man’s ambition and his never ending search for Peace (another expectation from life in general) makes him aggressive and leads him to have “Great expectations “from himself and from their partners. This usually is the root cause of failures in relationships especially during the early or late teen years as then their minds are not mature enough to skillfully manage these “Great expectations”.

 When a relationship runs into troubled waters – the first thing that is told to grieving parties is – “you are expecting too much”!. Be it a good friend or a professional counselor, this is the bottom line, which is most commonly addressed. Yet it is true. There is nothing wrong in having expectations but having “too much” and more often having expectations without understanding leads to the doom. As one does not fulfill the expectations of other, a shift in the delicate balance in a relationship takes place. Add to this, the apparent lack of understanding and sometimes trust to this boiling pot and you have on your hand a full blown – disaster relationship ready to blow up in your face pushing the limits are our wise men/ saints who go about preaching -“you should learn to have NO expectations’ under the veil of quotes from scriptures. Well then my question to them is  – isn’t this (not expecting) in itself a “Great Expectation”? Would a relationship exist if one is to have no expectation?

I return back to reality to my grieving friend to whom I try my best in counseling her with simple practical advice that it’s good to have expectations, but its better for all to know what type of expectations should be harbored. This can be achieved only by communicating with the other (especially in times like these) with patience and understanding. Armed with this advice, she leaves for her home eventually & I am happy to report at last information, the couple was making plans of going away to – “manage expectations” .

 Does this mean – Successful relationships are all about “managing great expectations”? 

 As I continue to introspect on the delicate nature of relationships, please feel free  to post comments and share your thoughts.

 Cheers!

Confessions of a Coffeeholic

An exhausting  journey ….. a rude taxi driver …. a Foreign land … a client meeting postponed .. all contribute to my Irritable state of mind . I subconsciously seek  for the “magic bean ” whIch I know will bring me tranquility and calm the raging sea of emotions in my mind . The magic bean  being – the humble ‘ coffee bean” .

I am quite choosy about coffee …. a perfect cup of coffee can turn your  worst days Into better days and vice versa . And I was looking forward to this day transforming experience . I seek out the famous green and white wIth a crowned mermaid In the middle Insignia of ” Starbucks ” coffee shop.  ( Cafe Coffee Day – CCD would be back home in India ) Yesssss! I am a coffeeholic !

As I walk Into the cafe – the familiar aroma of freshly ground roasted Costa Rican coffee beans storm my senses  and I move quickly towards the counter in anticipatIon of the ”  Coffee Experience ” !  . Here I encounter a familiar face – beaming back at me wIth ” I remember you” expression … saying sweetly – ” sawasdee ka .. Mr. NIEL “ (That’s “Namaste”  back home ) . I look down on her chest for the name tag(before you thInk of anything else )  – and It reads – ” Ramee “ She continues to ask – the ” usual .. Mr Niel ” ? StIll struggling to come to terms wIth how come she knows my name …. I retort back with – ” What would  be my usual ?…. Ramee”  …. she fIres back In enthusIasm …. ” Caffe Latte – Grande … extra strong , extra shot of espresso , extra hot and topped wIth cinnamon powder “ .. rIght ?? I am at a loss of words with Ramee’s perfect recital of my version of a perfect coffee – the way I like it !  I sImply manage to utter -” YES . Ramee.. That’s It ! ”  She warmly smiles and Indicates me to have a seat and my order wIll be served to me ! I was WOW ! Now that’s called personalised service !

As I weave my way to my favourite spot in the all too familiar cafe .. I perch myself .. on a corner leather sofa next  to  the glass pane – overlooking the  river . As I await for my order to be served… I look around the familiar decor and surroundings of the cafe .. smilingly thinking .. my home away from home !  That day, the cafe was unusually less crowded .. but then this can change in a few minutes to a bustling cafe brimming wIth people . My thoughts swing back to Ramee .. who is now busy wIth flurry of activities , processing already placed orders with efficiency and ease of a seasoned professional  ! I couldnt but help noticing .. that she makes eye contact with every customer ..and greets them equally with a warm contagious smile. I wonder , does she remember the ” usual ” of all these customers ? I am shaken out of the trance … wIth Ramee waving two fingers at me – her face still beaming … Indicating I will get my order in 2 min ! I once again , just could manage a nod of approval and a faint smile .

2 min 40 secs later ….my chain of thoughts  is broken by a sweet familiar voice ..” excuse me .. Mr Niel ” …I look up Into a beaming face of RAMEE .. wIth my order . She places the tray on the table… and waits for me to check on the accuracy of the order. Instinctively .. my hand reaches out to check the temperature of the cup . I pull back Instantly – It was EXTRA HOT for sure ! Next I bend over the cup , take in the aroma and stir a little – very light foam , and good helping of cinnamon powder. I looked up to Ramee and saId – ” perfect “. HearIng the satisfied comment – she promptly leaves and back to her duties. The smile does not leave her face .

The scintillating Aroma emanating from the coffee cup raids my sense of smell and I can almost taste the coffee wIthout even drinking It. The smell so sublime .. ensuring the taste wIll be truly satisfying . The first sip and i am immediately transported to the coffee plantatIons of LatIn America  – as the full-bodied coffee.. plays lively on my tongue. A satisfying taste indeed.

As I am shamelessly indulging in MY Coffee…a old frIend ( who I had lost contact with over the years )walks up to me – and announces -” Nielllllllllllllllll .. Dennis .. the menace ???” I immedIately recognised the booming vice of Harpeet “the turbinator ” singh  from my school days !!! I could manage to mouth only ” OH…..MY…… GODDDD ” and we do a bear hug !! The next few min we played ” catch up ” . Since he was with his office colleagues and rather in a hurry, we quickly exchange numbers and I am already Invited to his home for drinks and dinner ! After short good byes and extracting my  promise to honour the Invitation .. he quickly exits .

The brief meeting of a long-lost old frIend  rekindled fond memories … I return back to my coffee  indulgence and settle  in the comfortable sofa. Out of habit , I start checkIng my blackberry for emails and yahoo messenger . Suddenly , a soft voIce from behind me , asks.. ” May I ask what part of India are you from ?” The sudden Intrusion causes a delay in responding . Immediately realising  , this stranger is apologetic . I Inform her that I was from Mumbai and politely return to my BB. The stranger comments – ” Lively city – just like your coffee.” . The linkage of cIty and coffee… caught my attention and aroused my interest. I turn towards her and then for the next 45 min .. we were in constant chit chat ..laughing ( she had an Innocent smIle ) away . I learnt her name was Karen and she was a visual merchandiser .   We end up exchanging contact details wIth a promIse to keep In touch . Both our blackberry beeped the familiar sound of being added on the messenger list !

90 mInutes had passed and my thoughts return to RAMEE . I check out the counter but she was not there ! Somehow I felt disappointed. I scan the cafe for her .. and see her moving purposely In my direction . WIth her beaming face and open smile , she approaches me and asks me – ” Did you like your coffee ? ” . To this I replied – It was ” wonderful ” ! She beamed and said she looked forward to see me again . I smile back .. and assure her that I will be returning soon !

I say my good byes and upon exiting , I ponder over the ” coffee experience ” I just had ,  where an old school friend was found and new friends were made .

I look back at the cafe , smile & remind myself – I have a promise to keep ! 🙂

Hope you liked the ” lighter ” side of me in the article … your comments & feedback are always welcome.

Emotional Generosity – an introspection

Yesterday , after a bitter argument with my bhabhi ( sis in law ) , I went for an aimless walk as per my habit , to work off the  nervous energy trapped in me .  And I somehow end up at a park , which i never knew existed. And  let me tell you this is a pretty good-sized park  en route to my daily jogging route !

I  find myself a quiet corner bench as I preferred not to be disturbed.  I return back to the roller coaster ride of my  emotions processing them in my mind .   As I was scanning the scene in front of me , i notice this elderly couple with their grandchild,  carrying a tub of popcorn over to the nearby bench . In a few min , a street kid doing his rounds of collection , reaches this trio. I couldn’t help but notice the face of this elderly gentle man looking  at this street kid as if he were his own.  The empathy and compassion was overflowing on his face.  He smiles at the kid and puts his hand in pocket and pulls out a Rs 10 /- note but he does not give it . For a second my mind thought , now THATS  being  overly generous !   But that  thought was truncated prematurely , as this elderly gentleman   invites the street kid to sit amongst them and offers him the tub of popcorn.  For obvious reasons , his grandchild was not too happy to share his Popcorn with an unkempt , strange , street kid.  Kids are Possessive about popcorn ! it’s a KID thing !   He looks complainingly towards his grandfather , who simply smiles back and without a word ..  puts the Tub between both the kids .  The street kid  elated with the sudden surprise which rarely fills his reality, begins to gobble away  the popcorn should this moment be short-lived .  Looking at the reluctance to share the  popcorn , the grandfather , pulls out a fist full of popcorn and looks greedily at the fist and looking back at his grandchild – WINKS .  There was instantaneous explosion  of smile on the childs face and he enthusiastically  enters the unannounced race with this new friend – for who gets more popcorn.  I couldn’t help noticing  both kids exchanging  glances with each other . There was a sense of acceptance amongst the two complete strangers by one-act of emotional generosity by the grandfather.

In this brief , rapid moment of observation,I was propelled  out of my own dilemma  as a sense of happiness washed over me  and before I knew it , I was smiling.  And I couldn’t  help but realising , how much happiness  the act of “ giving”  or “ sharing” can give us . The  event  sparked a thought process  in me  and I asked myself –  how generous are we with our emotions ?  Do we freely  express our emotions ?  when did we last exchange emotions – even a smile –  with a complete stranger ?

In our effort for so-called  “ pursuit of Happiness “ , we continue to create a world where the place of emotions is increasingly being considered TABOO.  Whatever emotions  we do manage to express are tinged with selfish motive of self  gratification .  We  live in a world of materialism , where comfort , convenience , money  etc  are of paramount  importance.  We have voluntarily entered into a rat race to outdo the other in terms of collecting MORE  POSSESSIONS  and  upgrade ourselves to  SOCIAL  STATUS . By the way, this “ status”  is determined by  “ Strangers “ !!!   This materialistic pursuit  has triggered the greed in us as nothing seems to be enough anymore.   In this Moreness , we have  blinded ourselves  to  people around us . Instead of  “ living a life ‘” we are entrenched  in “ making a living “ !  WE  are seeking  “ happiness “ in inanimate objects !  It seems our definition of “ happiness “ has become  clouded.

Some of us are generous , in terms of donation to Temples , churches and other NGO’s  . The very little of this which trickles down to the less privileged few is definitely helpful  .  But I question – does  this singular act of  sharing / donating  make us feel  happy ?  Even if it does , isn’t this a very selfish act  performed for  happiness  of Self ? and why does it have to be anonymous ?  More  importantly  – Is this the happiness we seek ?

I look back at the event I witnessed ,  where TRUE  Generosity  was demonstrated by this grandfather …… to a complete  stranger …. and the feeling of  happiness was so widespread that it made every one who witnessed it  .. a participant .. and made them equal share holder …. in  Being HAPPY .  For  TRUE happiness can only be achieved with “ emotional generosity “  .

And  if ,  just by witnessing , it can compels me to forget my worldly trouble and put a smile on my face and song in my heart … then  should we not be in  “ pursuit of (this ) happiness  “  – which transcends all strata of society and brings all at ONE level  – a FELLOW  HUMAN BEING .

As I move towards the Life of emotional generosity , I leave you with a very apt  quote –

“There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life – happiness, freedom, and peace of mind – are always attained by giving them to someone else.”   – Peyton Conway March

 

Ps : the street kid – refused to accept the Rs 10 from the grandfather !

Hope  you liked this article … feel free to  share your thoughts

Can there be more than one Soul Mate ?

After reading my blog  “From the beginning – there was YOU and I”  a close and dear friend asked me a question -.  ” Can the soul  have more than one mates    ? ”  On seeing a sheepish grin on my face , he realised and quickly rephrased the question and asked  –      “ Can there be  more than one Soul  Mate ?

This question ignited a spark in  me  that could only be doused with a proper explanation. I welcome you to join me as I embark upon the journey to seek a possible answer to the burning question.  

As the irrefutable Natures law of Duality serves as canvas to my thoughts  , I look closer at the words  “ SOUL  MATE “  is a Singular term – meaning ONE . It could very well have been  Soul MateS ( Plural ) . This indicates that soul mate can only be ONE.  Yet , throughout our lives and sometimes many lifetimes  , we continue to  search for that ONE  perfect partner / the Twin aspect of our soul , Our Soul Mate.  Many  of us may not recognise / find this Soul mate for most of us are not YET in the pre-requisite “ state of awareness “   . Until then the soul indicates its desire to the mind for it to make the choice and for the Body to ACT  that choice . When the Body , Mind and Soul Create TOGETHER in harmony and in Unison , GOD is made flesh ! It is THEN that the soul knows itself in its OWN EXPERIENCE.  This divine experience transcends through the physical into the metaphysical and for this to occur the TWO SOULS must MATE .( Duality of Purpose).   Thus the incessant desperate desire to search for the Soul….. Mate !

During our life time , we come across a few people who come very close to what is being interpreted as a soul mate and during that period – we do experience the feeling of elation (LOVE) with this individual as  BF / Husband , GF / Wife , Lover etc . Many a times during these brief / long relationships of the physical realm, our soul realises that the other is not its TWIN Aspect and though the soul does not control the mind or body , it makes itself heard   and the person will subconsciously create circumstances/ events that will lead to the separation of the two – commonly termed ” break up ” / ” Divorce ” . (Divided by force) . Mostly elders / wise men would like to justify this break up as ” it was not meant to be “. How true is this saying – because it  LITERALY was not meant to be . For what IS “Meant to be” is for the soul to experience – the grandest experience of all – the RE-union with the ONE (Source)  which cannot be possible without its Twin aspect  – the “elusive “ SOUL  MATE .
 
So  – ” Can there be more than one soul mate ? ”   I would say NO .  There can only be ONE .

Point of note : Highly evolved beings have achieved such high  ” state of awareness ” that they become independent of the need of the soul mate.  In this state , the body , mind and soul are in CONSTANT harmony  and continues to experience of BEING the ONE – refered to as” state of  BE-INGness”  Such souls usually do not recyle as it has achieved ” salvation” . Them we refer to as ” MASTERS ” or ” GOD “

 

Hope you enjoyed reading …… your feedback and comments are most welcome.

From the begining – there was YOU and I

Besides being a avid chatter , i also like to read a lot . Recently i came across a image with a tag line – From the begining there was U and I.. hence the tag line. It just stuck in my brain and before i know it , i was compelled to introspect on the DUALITY of nature . The yin / yan , north / south , here / there , polarity – positive / negative. Even at our molecular level there exists this duality – Chromosome X and Y, and the very genetic material of which we are made of – is also in DUAL HELIX .

As the soul enters the physical realm , it splits itself in half – male / female and it experiences this Simultaneously. Now two individuals come into existence . the YOU and I . Now begins the dance of RE-discovering the OTHER HALF .. the opposite sex. It is inherent to these souls to now seek out the energy through the physical realm by searching for what we commonly refer to as SOUL MATE .(The words says it all ) . UnTill the two halfs have united … ONENESS awaits !

As conciousness moves towards reunion , we miss our other half , rendering us with the feeling of bieng InCOMPLETE , abandoned and sometimes depressed. A peice of us is Always missing. During our search for our soul mate ,we come across some people who come close to making us feel whole again . The energies they emit vibrates similar to the frequency of the energies we emit. This energies meet in ways we may not have thought of . These energies unite to form a ” zone ” between you and I . We refer to this zone as our ” comfort zone” . Both you and I are connected to this ” zone ” as we continue to feed it with our energies. And as the intensity increases, you and i both can feel that ” BOND ” between us. The soul recognises this union of energies at a metaphysical level and wants to experience it URGENTLY. It pushes the you and I to expereince it Physically. We recognise this drive as ‘ physical attraction ” . For is that LITERALY . Male and female bodies are designed specifically for this purpose to aid the soul in experiencing the Divine union. As the two physical bodies combine they become ONE – in the flesh . And in the explosion of this oneness – they come to know GOD and GODESS , Alpha and Omega , the yin and the Yan , the ALL and NOTHING.

In this moment of ONENESS -it can be said Essence of LIFE is experienced , for through this process we CREATE life(NEW) and trigger the entry of another soul into the physical realm ( literally) – and duality of YOU and I – is repeated from the Begining !

The Omnipresent TRINITY

While i was writing the earlier blog – 3 logical step to Godliness, I coudnt help but think that God has manifested itself in TRINITY.  Looking  at our own constitution (not the Indian constitution :P)   – its 3 parts – BODY , Mind , Spirit ( soul)

Also can be described alternatively – Physical (Body),  non –physical ( Mind)  ,  Meta –physical ( spirit)

The process of creation – 3 parts – Thoughts (mind) , words (body) , Action (soul)

To elaborate on the above – Our Mind generates Thoughts , Body (mouth ) expresses in form of words , and Action creates a reality which we experience. The soul gains the experience .

The Trinity ( 3 –in –one aspect ) has been described and researched upon by our religion , science , phlilosophers , and poets .

Religion calls it – The Holy Trinity – Bible – Father , Son and the Holy Spirit

Psychiatrist calls it – Conscious , Sub- conscious and super conscious

Science calls it – energy , matter , anti matter

The poet calls it – mind , heart , soul 

Time itself is divided into 3 parts -Past , Present  , Future

Space too is divided in 3 parts – here , there and space in between.

Many authours have described  the above individualy or collectively . 

It is my effort to bring to light – the omnipresence of Trinity in ourselves / our  lives . As we are constantly involved in the process of creation , we are replaying the 3 point process ( Trinity ) in every moment . Due to our hectic lifestyles and the constant self creation of illusionary distraction , we sometimes tend to forget to delve deeper in our selves or REALLY  see beyond the obvious . We constantly search for GOD externally  because we have started to believe that GOD is ANOTHER ENTITY , who is constantly monitoring us. But  if we just opened our minds a little more and looked a little deeper in our lives , we WILL realise and experience GOD in our selves (WITHIN ) – for our SOUL  is a miniscule part of the WHOLE we refer to  as GOD.

Hoping you find this view point interesting …

Please feel free to let me know ur thoughts and opinions by posting comments .